It Will Be So
by Mystery Maiden 016
Summary: Chained and alone Deeks contemplates the last few years of his life. A little dark but showcases the serious side of Marty Deeks.
1. Chapter 1

The man knelt silently in the darkness of the room, his knees aching from the strain of pressing against the hardwood floor for hours. His hands were securely cuffed to a metal band in the floor. It looked like the world's largest wood staple, ugly but effective. His wrists were scuffed and swollen from where he had tried to pull himself free. Now he waited patiently and thought about his life. There was little else to do.

He had always tried to be a good man, or at least a better one than his father. It was why he had studied to be a lawyer, became a cop, and eventually joined the dark dangerous group of men and women who sold their identities-souls for the greater good. But that wasn't why he was chained in the filthy room he was in now. No he was there because of a woman. A woman even more dangerous than the life they lived. A woman he had been too foolish to hold on to.

For many years his only reason for living was work. When a op went bad he fought to live not because he was afraid to die or because he thought he deserved more time. He fought because he knew that his death would result in criminals getting away with their evil, hurting innocents that he could have saved if he lived just a little longer. He had long since accepted that his end would be bloody and likely painful. He had accepted that eventuality so that others may live happy and innocent, something he had never had.

When he joined NCIS he found that slowly, little by little the desperate need that had drove him for years was starting to erode. It started with the laughter he shared with the team and ended with the kiss he had planted firmly on his lovely partner's lips. In that moment he realized truly and firmly something that had been growing inside his heart since the start of his liaison position. He wanted to live. He wanted to live with her, for her, happily ever after. He believed that maybe beneath her walls of hurt and torn emotion that's what she wanted too. Then Siderov happened. Deeks shuddered in the darkness as the cold of that man's memory enveloped him. Death would have been such a mercy at that time. He had prayed for it every second that drill screamed against his teeth. It had been so terribly easy to achieve too. Only one teeny tiny truth separated Deeks and an end to his torment. But he hadn't given in, hadn't told on Michelle. He held his silence not because of Sam but because of his beautiful Kensalina. He had been convinced that he would not survive the encounter no matter what he did. He was equally convinced that Sam would, just because he had to have hope that someone would live to protect Kensi. Sam wouldn't do that if Deeks threw his wife's life away. Callen wouldn't either because he was Sam's best friend and would share in his pain. Hetty would retire after losing one of her people so bloodily. So Deeks didn't tell his secrets, suffered the agony wrought upon him with as much dignity as he could muster.

After, when against all hope it was clear he would live he had cocooned himself tightly in his own world of misery. Partly it was in his nature to lick his wounds in private, but mostly he didn't want to drag Kensi into his pit of despair. He may not have survived his recovery if not for Nate talking some sense into his broken head. Even then if Kensi had rejected him like he had rejected her…he didn't want to consider it.

One thing the ordeal with Siderov had taught him though was that Kensi was his life. Without her he wilted like a flower without the sun. So he started to push her, to force her to open her heart to him. It had worked after much pain and shouted words. Then Hetty had snatched his sun up like the great snake Apophis in Egyptian folklore. He had weathered the resulting months, sustained by memory and love, but ached from his still sore wounds. When they went to find his sun in Afghanistan he experienced another startling revelation while looking into the crying eyes of blind man. Love could be dangerous, could twist a beautiful good thing into something unrecognizable. The case with the double agent only strengthened this awful thought. So he had pulled away from his Kensi, trying to find himself again. As deeply as he loved her he feared himself more. He was the son of Gordon Brandel after all, the cruel man who tortured what he should have treasured. Could that evil lurk in he, Deeks? He wouldn't have believed it before Afghanistan but after he wasn't so sure. But even as he had pulled away she had clung to him in her own strange way. And he wasn't strong enough to let her go. That was how he actually ended up where he was.

A simple stakeout had gone terribly wrong. They hadn't known what they were up against. Instead of the average American idiot caught up in trouble out of their league they were following a man who dealt in death. The man had spotted their tail and had called for backup before leading them into a trap. Deeks still wasn't sure how that had slipped past Nell and Eric. The ensuing firefight had left Kensi with a bullet in her thigh and no bullets left in their guns. Deeks swallowed thickly remembering how he had held Kensi tight against his side, both of them sitting on the hot pavement waiting to die. He kept pressure on her wound but she was bleeding out fast. The man they had been tailing had stepped around the vehicle they were hiding behind still immaculate in his designer suit.

_"What agency are you from?" he asked quietly. Deeks eyed the gun held loosely in the his hand. _

_ "NCIS," replied Deeks flatly. Kensi stirred against him._

_ "Deeks," she said, her voice breathy from pain. Her face was colorless, the fabric of her pants anything but. The man glanced at her when she spoke. His mouth twitched in annoyance. _

_ "She needs a hospital," said Deeks. The man raised his eyebrows._

_ "My friends worked very hard to ensure that at least one of you did. But I hardly think you're commenting on their success." Deeks grit his teeth against the anger that demanded he put Kensi to the side and beat the man to death. _

_ "If you wanted us dead we'd be dead by now. Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you. Just please let her go." The man's smile was slight but very cold._

_ "Just because you are alive now does not mean that I won't be killing the two of you momentarily. I just want to ask a few questions and receive honest answers. Deeks looked at the blood covering his hands. Kensi was badly hurt but she would last without treatment an hour maybe more if she kept her pulse rate down. It was plenty of time for Callen and the others to find them. It was also plenty of time for the man to shoot them both in the head. _

_ "I'm sure that those questions are very important to you. But my team will be arriving in the next twenty minutes. You could try to torture us for the information but Kensi won't stay conscious long and I promise you it will take longer than the time you've got to make me talk. But if you take me with you and leave her here—alive—I swear I'll answer all of your questions. Honestly and without the mess of torture. Just take me with you." The man studied him for a long moment, his face emotionless. _

_ "I hope you don't think you'll survive such a trip with me. As soon as I have what I want you will die." Deeks smiled._

_ "So we have a deal?" _

The last thing that he remembered was leaving Kensi lying wounded with a makeshift bandage around her leg. He didn't think she had been fully conscious while he bargained for her life. She had been too confused when he stood to leave her. She had begged them not to hurt him, trying desperately to regain her feet but she had suffered too much blood loss. He had tried to hide his tears from his captors as they all piled into the vehicle that was take him away from his love.

The man in the suit hadn't come for him yet. They hadn't hurt him either—there was no use. They had simply chained him and left him. He had little hope that Callen and Sam would find him in time. They had to find Kensi, then take her to the hospital, then wait until she had recovered enough to tell them what had happened. Then they had to start the arduous task of hunting down a team of trained professionals. There simply wasn't enough time. But at least Kensi would be alive. Deeks found it ironic that he would die for the only thing he had found to live for.

His head came up when he heard the creak of an old floorboard. Death was coming for him. He hoped they would at least let him stand. His knees were killing him. The knob on the door turned. Deeks closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again the man in the suit stood before him the gun in his hand again. The door was closed behind him.

"Are you ready to answer my questions?" Deeks nodded silently. He wondered if Kensi had survived the wait for Sam and Callen. "How much does your agency know about myself and my friends?" Deeks shrugged, a crooked smile lightening his face.

"We didn't even know you had friends. Or training. We thought you were a small fish that would lead us to the great white lurking the shadows." The man was silent for a moment studying him.

"How skilled is your team? Your tail from this morning was quite impressive." Deeks shrugged.

"They're pretty decent. You should probably start running," The bound man's eyes darkened. "Because if they find you it won't be pretty. For you at least. They'll have beers afterward and call it a good days work."

"Even though they'll be mopping your blood off the floor?" queried the man without anger.

"Especially because of that. It happens sometimes but that doesn't mean they tolerate it." The man in the suit nodded slowly.

"Well I can assure you that running is exactly what I intend to do. There is no use in taking a risk for such an operation as this. I'd rather start over in Rio. I like the wildlife better there anyway." Deeks kept his smile to himself this time because honestly he wasn't sure who would win in a confrontation: his team or the suit team. At least his surrogate family would remain safe. The man sighed quietly. "I have one more question for you." Deeks swallowed thickly at the man's regretful tone. "Where would you like to be buried?" Distantly he heard the click of the gun's hammer being drawn back.

"Somewhere with a view of the ocean." His throat was tight. He bowed his head as the man brought the gun level with his face.

"It will be so."


	2. Chapter 2

"Get out of the way," growled agent Hanna angrily as his Challenger roared past a Toyota. His friend and partner, Callen, gripped his gun tightly as they weaved through traffic.

"HRT is gonna meet us there," said Callen after reading the text on his phone. Eric said that Kensi's still in surgery but that she'll be just fine." Sam grunted letting his partner know that he had been heard. It had only been this morning that everything in their little bubble of the world had been fine. Kensi and Deeks had been trading barbs like usual and Deeks had even remembered to bring coffee and tea for everyone.

"We should have went on that stakeout, G," muttered Sam, his eyes slit in concentration as he wove in and out of traffic. Callen rubbed his temple with his free hand.

"We couldn't have known, Sam. Nothing looked even remotely out of place with this guy. Yeah he was a scumbag but no one could have guessed he'd be capable of pulling together a special ops team." Callen looked out the window remembering the thrill of terror he had gotten when both he and Sam's phones had went off signaling an agent in distress. It had been Kensi's phone. The best that they could guess was that she called for help after she was hit while Deeks continued to rain cover fire upon their enemies. Her phone had been covered with bloody fingerprints when they had finally arrived on the scene. At first they had feared Kensi dead because of the amount of blood surrounding her wounded leg. When Sam had called her name though Kensi had looked at them for just a few seconds.

"They took Deeks," was all she whispered before she passed out in Sam's strong arms. That had been hours ago. Hours of fruitless searching, of breaking down doors and chasing leads. They still didn't know who they were up against. They had a face and a very falsified cover story but that was all. They hadn't heard from Deeks either. There had been no ransom call, no terrified Deeks calling because he had managed to escape but needed an extraction.

"Do you think he's alive?" asked Sam doing his best to sound emotionless. Callen chose not to point out his partner's dismal failure.

"Why take him and then kill him? They certainly didn't need a hostage to get out of there. They led Kensi and Deeks to the perfect ambush location." Callen forced down his frustration. "Why take him at all?" Sam didn't answer but he couldn't help but remember the case with Siderov. He wasn't sure Deeks could handle a second ordeal. He glanced at his watch. One way or another they would know in about an hour if traffic held.

* * *

The man they were after was a very interesting man. His name was Daniel Benson though none of the men in the room knew that. It wasn't a matter of trust because he trusted these men with more than his life. He simply felt that the man named Daniel had died a long time ago. He and his friends had been working together for a very long time and functioned more as a family unit than a team. They were mercenaries who had figured out that being criminals was a lot more lucrative and much less dangerous. Sometimes they did good things. Sometimes they didn't.

His second in command joined him by the window. "We're ready to go now. All of our loose ends have been tied up and we've gathered what we can take with us. We haven't lost too much." Daniel nodded in thanks.

"We should probably get ready to move then." Daniel sighed and looked to ceiling where he knew their prisoner waited. His second glanced up too.

"I'll go take care of him," said his friend. Daniel shook his head.

"I brought him here. I'll be the one to finish it." The other man grabbed his arm as he started to walk away.

"Why did you bring him here? We could have just shot them both then we wouldn't have to worry about it." Daniel allowed a small self-deprecating smile to tug at his mouth.

"I'm getting sentimental in my old age, brother. I saw that he loved the woman. His courage moved me." The other man scoffed, his friendship with the other man obvious in his body language.

"You are getting old." They shared a quick smile before the man in the suit looked up again, all mirth melting away.

"It really is a pity that we have a reputation to uphold. I think he would probably be a pleasant fellow to know." The second frowned.

"He wasn't all that pleasant when he was trying to take our heads off. I felt the heat off of one of his shots." Daniel frowned a coldness gripping him when he thought of losing one of his friends to the man upstairs. That thought made it a lot easier to do what he was about to. Without another word he mounted the stairs, ignoring the creak of an old floorboard when he reached the top. When he came into the room it took him a second to adjust to the dark. The blond agent knelt silently in the middle of the room, his eyes closed as he tried to marshal his courage. When he did dare to look upon Daniel his eyes glittered with resolve.

Again Daniel felt a twinge in his gut telling him not to hurt the man who had fought for his and his partner's life but lost. Then Daniel remembered that although he didn't strictly need to know what NCIS knew about them it might be useful.

"Are you ready to answer my questions?" The man nodded without a word. "How much does your agency know about myself and my friends?" The agent shrugged and smiled a grin that Daniel was sure he flashed regularly. There was only a trace of bitterness in his voice when he replied that the agency knew nothing, only the back story cleverly set in place by one of his tech savvy men. Daniel searched the man's face and posture for lies but found no clues. He believed that the man the woman had called Deeks was being truthful.

"How skilled is your team? Your tail from this morning was quite impressive." Perhaps the most important question of all. Daniel knew that NCIS would be howling for his blood after they discovered what he had done. Deeks shrugged again his attitude starting to leak through.

"They're pretty decent. You should probably start running, because if they find you, it won't be pretty. For you at least. They'll have beers afterward and call it a good days work." Daniel had to fight hard to keep his smirk secret. The agent would have made a fine ally if they happened to be on the same side.

"Even though they'll be mopping your blood off the floor?" That made the agent pause but only for a second. His reply was lightening quick but without the heat of a bluff. But Deeks' face was still pale and his hands clenched into fists to hide their tremble. He wasn't without fear.

Giving a slow nod Daniel decided to give the other man at least some peace before his life ended. As he explained his plan to flee outside of NCIS's reach he could see the relief seep into the agent's body though he tried to hide it. So this man loved his team as much as Daniel himself did. Sadly though it was now time to put an end to this problem.

"I have one more question for you." The agent read his doom in Daniel's tone of voice. What little blood was left in his face slid out as he swallowed. His knuckles were white where his hands were clenched in his lap. "Where would you like to be buried?" Daniel pulled back the hammer of his trusted gun.

"Somewhere with a view of the ocean," said the agent hoarsely, forcing the words from a terrified throat. Daniel raised the gun, eager to ease the other man's torment. Deeks lowered his head giving Daniel the perfect angle for a kill shot.

"It will be so," he said firmly, a promise he meant to keep. He pulled the trigger and tried not to wince as spatter decorated the floor and wall. He waited until the other man stopped twitching before lowering his weapon and putting it away. The spatter looked thick and black in this light, like the oil that had cost so many lives this century alone. The door opened behind him and his friend stepped through.

"We need to find a spot with a view of the ocean to bury him at." His second glanced at the crumpled form on the floor.

"I wish we could, but his team is coming. From what we've gathered they'll be here within the hour. It would be kinder to let them bury him, don't you think?" Daniel glanced at his friend bile rising in his throat.

"I suppose we have little choice. Let's go."

* * *

Callen and Sam led the breach, desperate to get to their friend. Surprisingly the old rundown house was empty though it had obviously been occupied recently. There were no men firing automatic weapons at them, no bombs triggering upon their entry. They cleared the bottom level of the house, finding only a few loose items that would be little help in tracking down the criminals. Sam gestured to Callen that it was time to mount the stairs. They moved carefully, expecting a hail of gunfire at any second but none came. It was luck that led them to the door to the left of the staircase while the HRT men took the other rooms. Sam opened the door allowing Callen to rush in. He stopped after just a step though seeing the form in the floor.

"Deeks," called Sam, relieved that at least the group had left behind their detective. The former SEAL started forward until Callen caught him. G smelled blood on the air. Reaching to the side he flicked on the switch bathing the room in light. The shadows on the floor and walls turned to crimson. "Deeks," whispered Sam again, his face falling with sorrow. Callen made his way into the room careful to step around the red on the floor. He gently moved Deeks' head and tried to control his nausea as he saw the wound that had claimed his friend. Distantly he heard Sam swear and stomp off down the hallway. One of the HRT men stepped inside the room.

"The rest of the building is clear." The man studied the body on the floor. "I'll call the ME." Callen watched him go then pulled out his cell. The phone rang only once before Hetty's concerned voice answered.

"We found him," said Callen before she could ask. He tried to go on but couldn't.

"Why doesn't he sound happy," asked Eric's voice in the background.

"We were too late." rasped Callen finally. "I'd say he's been gone no more than two hours." There was silence on the other end of the phone. Callen was about to hang up when Hetty spoke again.

"Thank you, Mr. Callen. I trust that you'll see that our friend receives the proper respect?" Callen looked at the broken form lying chained in his own blood.

"I will. I need to let Kensi know though."

"Let me inform Ms. Blye," replied Hetty sadly. "This is not news to be shared over the phone." Callen nodded and hung up. Sam had returned while Callen was on the phone.

"It should have been us, G," said Sam for the second time. This time Callen felt no need to correct his friend. He would give anything to be able to trade places with Deeks.

"Take some photos. Then I want to uncuff him." Sam didn't argue as they set about their work.

* * *

There had been many days in Henrietta's life that she regretted. Today was a day that made those others seem easy. The hospital was crowded but that didn't bother the small woman. What bothered her lay quietly recuperating in a private room just down the hall.

Kensi was doing remarkably well after her surgery. She wouldn't be walking for a few weeks but she felt bright and alert. Callen and Sam had texted her that they found where the bad guys had taken Deeks and she felt sure that he would be walking in her room at any time. Deeks was a smart man and an even better operator. Although she worried for her partner it hadn't really occurred to her that he might not make it back to her. Their partnership was a love story after all, something straight out of Deeks' mouth.

When the door opened to reveal Hetty she was moderately disappointed and a great deal more worried. It didn't help any that Hetty looked like she had aged a decade since this morning.

"How do you feel my dear?" asked Hetty taking her hand. Kensi forced a smile, trying to pretend that she didn't taste dread in her mouth.

"My leg hurts but its not too bad. The doctor says with a little physical therapy I'll still be able to run my 5k in a few months." Kensi hesitated. "Where's Deeks? Have they found him yet?" Hetty gripped her hand painfully.

"I'm sorry Kensi, but he's gone." Time stopped and all oxygen left her blood.

"Gone? They've already moved locations?" Kensi shook Hetty's hand. "We have to find him before they disappear like what happened with Dom. We have to find him, Hetty." Hetty looked away from the feverish intensity in Kensi's eyes.

"I think you know what I mean, Ms. Blye. Your partner isn't coming back." Kensi dropped Hetty's hand like she'd been burned.

"He's not dead!" Hetty looked back at the younger woman's face. Kensi was frightened to see tears leaking from Hetty's old eyes.

"He is."

* * *

Hours later Hetty got off the phone with LAPD. They weren't happy about the loss of their top undercover but they weren't surprised either. Hetty informed them that NCIS was happy to take over the funeral arrangements and they accepted, glad to save the money. It all left a bad taste in her mouth. Even her favorite tea couldn't make her feel any better. Silently she reached inside her drawer and took out her resignation. She wrote in the date and was in the process of sealing the letter when she heard a snuffle behind her. She turned to see Nell standing, box of tissues in hand.

"Please don't turn that in," said the younger woman, her voice phlegmy from sobbing all day.

"There comes a time for all things," replied Hetty flatly.

"There does," agreed Nell. "But not right now. We can't handle losing both you and Deeks. I don't know if we can even survive just Deeks. We put our trust in you, Hetty."

"Obviously you are foolish to do so, Ms. Jones." Hetty sealed the letter.

"This didn't happen because someone made the wrong decision," said Nell, her voice growing angry. "It happened because this is the job and sometimes things like this happen. Stop wallowing in self-pity. We need you know more than ever and if you can't see that then perhaps you _should_ go." Hetty stared at the petite red-head for a long moment taking in the tearstained cheeks and rosy complexion of rage. Hetty tore her resignation in half.

* * *

The day of the funeral was very painful for all of the team. They had opted for a closed casket rather than put Deeks through the process of making him presentable for the public. Monty was going to live with Kensi since Deeks had no kin who were capable of caring for a dog. The dog whined throughout the whole ceremony as if knowing it was his master they buried.

Hetty had chosen a gravesite that overlooked the ocean. She told no one that she had picked it after receiving a phone call from a man with a very emotionless voice informing her that Deeks had requested such a spot. The formal gunshots that marked a hero's passing made Eric flinch, wondering if that was the last thing Deeks heard. Kensi received the folded flag, her face a mask of stone as she sat in her wheelchair. In a few weeks she would start to walk again. She had to be ready to run if she planned to hunt down the bastards who did this.

After Deeks was laid to rest the team went for beers, hoping the alcohol would soothe the sting in their hearts. They drank many toasts to Deeks but it didn't make them feel better.

Two years later they caught up with Daniel Benson in Miami. He had run into a string of bad luck after Deeks' murder. The man had lost everything, the last one standing of the team he had so treasured. He didn't resist them at all, glad to finally find an end to the running. He knew his death waited for him in prison. Even as he looked up into Kensi's furious face he was glad he had let her live. Deeks had been a good man and good men didn't deserve to have everything they love die. That fate should be reserved for men like him.

Her three teammates: a black man, a skinny white man, and a petite redhead had to talk her out of shooting him in the head like he had done to her lover years ago.

"Why did you kill him?" bit out Kensi. "You could have just left him there. He couldn't hurt you." Daniel looked into her mismatched eyes.

"I had a reputation to uphold."


End file.
